Quotable quotes

Something I wish I hadn't overheard today:
Light of my Life: Wait. You mean all D cups aren't the same???

Yesterday in 8th grade science...
me: What's this called? (holding up an Erlenmeyer flask)
Single Kidney: Oscar Mayer flask!
(The other day this kid claimed he only had one kidney and that's why he always had to pee. I cannot vouch for the veracity of this claim.)


In chemistry...
Miss Book! You look different today! Did you get your hair cut?
no.
LomL: Did you get your nose done?


In advisory...
Advisee: Miss Book! Have you ever seen that YouTube video of the funeral where the crackhead sings Amazing Grace?
Me: The one where the cracker sings Amazing Grace?


In English...
Mr. DeBor: Nicest Student Ever, that was an excellent question. It was so good that if I had another child, I'd name him after you.
Student: Oh! Are you going to have more kids?
Mr. D: No, two's enough. We're done.
Student: So you don't have sex anymore?
DeBor relating the story later... "I just had to fight through that one and keep going. It was like I could see the geese in front of the plane and I just had to hold it steady and keep flying and put it down on the Hudson..."