Ban dihydrogen monoxide!

We're about to begin naming molecular compounds in chemistry, so I thought I'd start off the period with a reading from the DHMO website. If you have not heard of this controversy, please click here.

Only one kid actually figured it out...and that's because it was part of the summer reading (which not many of them read...). The rest of them were hilarious:
"Well, yeah, we should ban it! It's in our rivers and reservoirs! That's right up the street! You can die from this stuff! The government is spending all this money on the war, this is the kind of thing they should be focused on!"

Then we started talking about how we would write the formula for dihydrogen monoxide. "Di means two...two hydrogens...mono means one...oxide is oxygen...so two hydrogens and one oxygen...we would write that as H 2 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Yeah, that's pretty much exactly how it went. I think they were amused. I certainly was.

Then about halfway through the period, some of them started complaining that they were thirsty and needed some dihydrogen monoxide. I told them that they were seniors and that we weren't going to hold hands and walk to the water fountain as a class. I know, I'm heartless. As I turned to write more on the board, I heard Mr. Arrogant:
"If I cough and dust comes out, would you let me get a drink?"

HAH!
That one cracked me up.