How to package hazardous chemicals...

Geez, they don't take any chances when they pack hazardous materials!
I just ordered some sodium metal from a chemical supply company, and here is what I had to do to get to it:

Open the shipping box (about 6"x6"x18") to take out some crumpled paper packing materal that took up about half of the package and a plastic-y foil bag (think Capri Sun-esque). Cut this bag open to reveal a second box. Open second box to reveal a second plastic/foil bag. Cut this bag open to reveal a quart-sized paint can. Open paint can which is filled with what basically amounts to gravel, take out clear bag packed in gravel. Inside of this bag there is a 25mL bottle filled with mineral oil and five small chunks of sodium...

It was quite the process, though when something is reactive with water, I guess it's necessary!

It's like magic...

I walked into the restroom yesterday to find Thumb Sucking Girl (an 8th grader who has since stopped the thumb sucking, but it was pretty prevalent during summer school...) attempting to clean some blood off of her shirt. Apparently her nose had been bleeding.


Me: What happened?!?
TSG: Mr. Cody hit me. It was an accident.
Me: Mr. Cody hit you! Do I need to go beat him up?
TSG smiles and shakes head.
Me: I'll be right back, I have something that will take that out.

I ran to the science storage closet and got some peroxide and proceeded to help her clean the blood off of her shirt.

TSG: How do you know this is going to work?
Mel: Well, it's chemistry... :)

Once again, chemistry saves the day!

It's part of the job description...

So we're studying light in chemistry (and consequently, wavelength and frequency, etc.)

Me (solving a problem at the board): So the equation you want to use is c equals lambda nu, which you could also rearrange so that it's c over lambda equals nu... Do you want to hear my favorite science joke?
(They looked a little wary, but they said yes...)
Me: What's new [nu]? ...... c over lambda.

Cue laughter and moaning and affirmations that I am in fact a science nerd.

Mr. Arrogance: Man, it's like all of you guys!
Me: What?
Mr. A: All of you, Ms. SeniorSeminarTeacher, even Mr. MathTeacher...
Me: What, we're all weird?
Mr. A: Yeah! You're all crazy...

Where's Waldo?

I had a pretty sweet opportunity this past week to go on a field trip with some of the kids to hear Dr. Ben Carson speak at the literacy council luncheon. Given, we didn't get to eat, we just sat in the balcony and watched everyone else finish their lunch, but it was totally worth it. He was an excellent speaker with some great stories. Some of the kids stayed behind and were able to talk to him and get his autograph, which was cool.

The event was held on the 17th floor of a fancy schmancy hotel downtown. That was all well and good, but when we got there at 11:50, thinking we were about 20 minutes early, we were taken to a nice room with some chairs and a few tables, which was to serve as the "holding tank." For an hour.

Thirty high schoolers. An hour of unexpected downtime. Awesome.

The kids were actually pretty good at keeping themselves entertained. One of them had a deck of cards, which made things a little easier. I ended up at the window with some 8th and 9th grade girls playing an awesome impromptu game of "Where's Waldo," which is a game I highly recommend if you are ever stuck in a room on the 17th floor of a downtown building.
"Do you see the lady with the orange purse?"
"A lady with a stroller!"
"A construction worker!"
"A guy talking on a cell phone!"

Definitely entertaining. It actually started with the girls telling me to look because the people were so small you could "pick them up" with your fingers. Instead of picking them up, I put up my finger and thumb about a centimeter apart and focused on a person on the sidewalk..."Or, you could smash them," I said, pressing my fingers together. They were rather horrified...I thought it was what everyone did when they saw people from that far away...

--------

We were working on distinguishing between chemical and physical changes in 8th grade science this week.
Me: "So baking a cake...what kind of change is that?"
Flava Flav: "Emotional!"

For some reason he had a hard time getting a grip on the fact that he only had two choices...

Add it to the list...

Flava Flav: Ms Book, do you eat meat?
me: What?
FF: Are you a vegetarian?
me: No, why?
FF: You look like one.
me: What does a vegetarian look like?
FF: I don't know... Did you ever watch "That's So Raven"? You look like Chelsea from there.
me: Is she white?
FF: Yes
me: Does she have long blonde hair?
FF: Yes
me: Well then that's why. Now, on to physical and chemical properties...



Girl Who Wants to Be My Best Friend: (whispering and beckoning) Miss Book! (hesitates like maybe she shouldn't have called me over during class, but beckons me closer until I am bending over her desk) Where did you get your belt? (still whispering)
me (stage whispering): I don't remember...I think at a garage sale?

Well, that wasn't exactly the response she was expecting...

burnination

The current temperature in my classroom?
A blistering 78 degrees. Well, that is what the [broken] thermostat says. I am sweating just sitting at my computer. The thermometer I pulled out of the storage closet says 26.5 degrees Celsius (which converts to approximately 79.7 degrees Fahrenheit).
Apparently the part to fix this mess is in the mail. It can't come soon enough...


Also...when culture and chemistry clash, the Aufbau principle turns into:
"What's that other principle? Afubu?"

Things you don't usually carry to class...

A few minutes ago I was talking to the 8th graders about their homework and the test I was about to hand out. In the middle of my monologue, Flava Flav interrupted me, holding out what appeared to be a balled up napkin.

"I had a sausage in my pocket." Pause while I look at him incredulously. "I didn't want to eat it cuz it was gross. Can I throw it away?"

I nodded and pretty much dissolved into laughter, much to the amusement of the rest of the class. The ridiculousness of the whole situation was just too much for me on a Friday morning...

Thanks for sharing...

Flava Flav was unpacking his bookbag at his desk today before the bell rang. I was standing near him and for some reason he felt the need to hold up a black piece of clothing and inform me:
"These are my supportive underwear for my race today."
Something I really didn't need to know...

I had some Total cereal and water stirring on the hot plate when they came into class this morning. (To show them that you can take out the iron with a magnet)
them: "That looks like throw up. Is it throw up?"
me (writing notes on the board): "No, it's diarrhea."

Hehehehe, I like grossing them out...

Someone at Dove needs to be fired...

Okay, maybe firing is too strong of a response to this, but really.

I just ate a Dove Promise, you know, the chocolates that have the cute messages inside like "Chocolate makes you happy, buy more." (Fine, they don't usually say that, but you know that's what they're thinking.) This was today's message:

Fly kites in an azure blue sky.

Now, being the nerd that I am, sirens went off in my head when I read this. Merriam-Webster.com confirmed for me that "azure" means one of three things:
1 archaic : lapis lazuli
2 a : the blue color of the clear sky b : the heraldic color blue
3 : the unclouded sky

Please note that NONE of these make sense in this context. Sort of like when Qdoba advertises "Three Cheese Queso."

If I need to be corrected, let me know, but from the way I understood it, azure stands alone, like cerulean...hmmm...though I guess people do say "navy blue" sometimes...


And also. That wasn't a promise. It was a suggestion/command...

Guess who's gangster now??

An amusing email from Ms. Baldwin...I think just copying the whole email is better than me trying to recreate it...(hopefully she doesn't mind ;) ):

BOOK! Have you heard the RKelly song Trapped in the closet?! Holy COW! It’s hilarious! If you haven’t, then come see me IMMEDIATELY and I’ll play it for you.

If you have… then you’ve GOT to look for Trapped in the Drive Thru! It’s also HILARIOUS!

Ok… things just got funnier…. I’m playing it in my class right now and Excited Girl goes “Shhhhh ya’ll this is my favorite part.” So, I listen and, in the middle of the song, it changes to a different tune, which I recognize but I KNOW Excited Girl doesn’t know who it is. I ask her why she likes it. She says, “Because I just like the gangster part.” Um… by “gangster part” she’s referring to the clip of LED ZEPPLIN music they play in the middle!!!! ARE YOU KIDDDDDDDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW! I’m crying and laughing all at once. TOOOO MUCH!

If you believe in magic...

I've ruined myself.

Okay, not really...
But I did a "magic trick" earlier this year for the 8th graders, something they weren't expecting, which is always fun (they are so amazed by it, it is funny). However, I think I've sullied my credibility. Today, when I put a paper towel in the bottom of a small beaker then inverted it and put it under water (to prove that air is matter because the paper towel won't get wet), they accused me of pulling a Criss Angel.

I'm trying to remember what I did when they accused me of being a witch...I'll have to get back to you on that one...



Melissa just made me almost cry laughing when she got up to go to the bathroom during a commercial break and made it to the bathroom before she realized that her yarn (she was crocheting) was looped around her leg and she had unraveled it all the way through the dining room... You probably had to see it in order for it to be funny, sorry.

A letter of apology...

Disorganized Boy misplaced his homework. And by misplaced I mean he lost his whole lab journal, claiming he had put it in the class box last period. How many times did I tell him to get the data from his lab partner so he could finish the report? Two or three. When I finally sent him to Wall Street (Friday after school when kids have to do homework they missed during the week), he gave the proctor the same story. She made him write me a note of apology. It is so adorable that I have to share it. (he is in 8th grade...I've kept the spelling, etc, the same...)

Ms. Book
I am sorry about my paper and will take better care of them in the future. I have tried to do the most I can on this sheet, and I hope you will accept it. I am responsible for my work and won't let it happen again. I, Disorganized Boy, will do the best I can to pass your class. My sincere apologizies.
It is also true that I am very clumsy and misplace my work. I will not lose my homework anymore. Oh, I just wanted you to know I'm lazy and I'm trying to break that habit. i want to make up all of my missed work if its okay at set amounts and times. I am going to do my best to do my work sorry once again.
Sincerely,
Disorganized Boy

I hope he can pass for the year...it is midterm and he is boasting an impressive 35%...
He really is a sweet kid, just so disorganized and so spacey!

on yelling

"Mr. Art Teacher doesn't scream yell, he like poetry yells."
- 9th grade girl

Meanwhile, I've been told that I smile all the time...even when I'm yelling...which apparently makes one of the 11th grade boys angry. Hah.

Today's pet peeve...

Bicyclists who don't follow the rules.

Scenario #1: Two cyclists riding the wrong way up my one way street at 10pm. However, they were wearing helmets AND their bikes had lights. Grade: A-

Scenario #2: Girl riding bike in front of me. Not wearing a helmet (okay, I don't wear one all the time either, and it's not a law, so fine). Swerves in front of me to make a left hand turn. Fine. I was going slow because of her anyways, and she looked, but she didn't signal AT ALL. Grade: B.

Scenario #3: I approach a stop sign and slow to a stop. Man on bike and kid on bike behind him approach from the opposite direction (no stop sign for them), but they are in my lane. And...there is a sidewalk available. [Note: bicyclists generally should not ride on the sidewalk, but I think there are exceptions to that rule, especially if there are no pedestrians. Plus this is admittedly a crazy intersection.] As I stop at the stop sign, the guy looks at me, and I boldly make eye contact because I am ticked that he is showing complete disregard for traffic laws. Then, as he passes my open passenger side window, he has the audacity to say "Move the f*** over." It is a good thing he was going the opposite direction because otherwise I would have had to tell him to shut the hell up before I moved him the F out of the way with my bumper. You are a VEHICLE! You have to obey traffic laws too! And put a helmet on that kid because he is definitely younger than twelve. And it's rush hour. Grade: F-

To be honest, I was sort of a jerk and intentionally stopped in the middle of the lane when I saw what he was planning on doing. My (insincere) apologies.

overheard:

Remember "Say Anything"...the girl who likes to play the "you're just saying that cuz I'm white" card? Well, she was the one involved in the following exchange. The seniors tend to take jabs at each other regarding skin color (they're the class to whom I said "white people are dirty" after walking in on them giving each other bars).

Say Anything: You can't do that, you're colored.
other student: Yeah? Well you're discolored.

For some reason that seriously cracked me up...