time with the juniors...

I made a cake today for one of my advisees since it was her half birthday (her real birthday was before we started school). Light of My Life saw it and was upset:
-Miss Book! Why don't you make me a cake? Today was the day that Jesus...(trailing off)
me: What?
LomL: Today was the day that Jesus conceived me!
me: Jesus conceived you?
LomL: It was the day he put me in my mom! He conceived me.
me: So you're Jesus' son?
LomL: Yep!


Today I had three students in chemistry class. The rest were at basketball... Two of said students were preparing to take a test. One was rooting through her purse, claiming to have lost her pencil. I grabbed an unsharpened one off of my desk and offered it to her,
"Here! I just found this on the floor in the cafeteria!"
her: Um...no thanks...
student 2 (behind me): I'll eat it!
Pencil-seeking student: It's a PENCIL.
student 2: oh.
me: You would eat food off of the floor in the cafeteria?!?!?
sudent 2: maybe?