Reason #388...

I was explaining average speed and instantaneous speed to the 8th graders this morning and using the example of driving from here to Downtown. After some arguing as to how far it is to Downtown (my estimate was 3-4 miles, some of them thought it was more like 7...), I confirmed with MapQuest that it was approximately 4 miles. Flava Flav was certain that MapQuest was lying...and I wasn't sure how to convince him otherwise... Anyway, he was also complaining that he didn't understand what was going on. Finally, I got to the end of the explanation and he exclaimed,
"I get it! You just taught me something! You're smart!"

*bell rings for the end of class*

Flava Flav: Thanks for teaching us today, Miss Book!

I think he just earned himself an A for the term...maybe even the year...
:)

Overheard...

Some of the seniors were taking a test in my classroom yesterday (for another class), and somehow got into a discussion about birth control and getting tubes tied male vs. female. (I think they were taking a break from their test?)

Mr. Arrogant: Don't make me give up my manhood...you better be eatin birth control pills like skittles!

and later...

Model Student: I have a wedgie. It's a bottom of the drawer type underwear day.
Mr. A: It's worse for boys. Ours move. Once you've got yours in there...it stays...

At this point I decided it was time to leave the room...

A few more reasons I love my job...

It is midyear exams week, which basically means the kids are taking two exams per day Monday-Thursday, interspersed with study halls, lunch, recess, etc.

A few things that made my day today:

I happened to be at my computer this morning when one of the 9th grade classes came in to take their Earth Science test. They decided it was necessary to hold hands and gather in a circle while FS led them in a prayer for them to do well on their exam! They were actually pretty serious about it too; it was too cute! (I can't vouch for how well they did, or how much they studied, but it was a nice gesture.)

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Flava Flav raised his hand during the test and I called on him.
"Say we go to recess..."
I'm Cool Because I Have a 10th Grade Girlfriend: "Bring your voice down!"
FF (in a deeper voice): Say we go to recess...

Cool Boy was asking him to be quiet because his voice is natually loud....HAHAHA! We all paused to laugh...and then I had to hide behind my computer monitor to keep laughing...

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And one from our dear Spanish teacher:

"Drama Queen asked to go to the bathroom and Clean Freak goes, 'can you get me some crackers?'
I said, 'Dude, I'm standing right here! You don't need any more crackers!'"

aaaaaaaaaahahhahahahah...:)

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PS This is post 100!

Ban dihydrogen monoxide!

We're about to begin naming molecular compounds in chemistry, so I thought I'd start off the period with a reading from the DHMO website. If you have not heard of this controversy, please click here.

Only one kid actually figured it out...and that's because it was part of the summer reading (which not many of them read...). The rest of them were hilarious:
"Well, yeah, we should ban it! It's in our rivers and reservoirs! That's right up the street! You can die from this stuff! The government is spending all this money on the war, this is the kind of thing they should be focused on!"

Then we started talking about how we would write the formula for dihydrogen monoxide. "Di means two...two hydrogens...mono means one...oxide is oxygen...so two hydrogens and one oxygen...we would write that as H 2 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Yeah, that's pretty much exactly how it went. I think they were amused. I certainly was.

Then about halfway through the period, some of them started complaining that they were thirsty and needed some dihydrogen monoxide. I told them that they were seniors and that we weren't going to hold hands and walk to the water fountain as a class. I know, I'm heartless. As I turned to write more on the board, I heard Mr. Arrogant:
"If I cough and dust comes out, would you let me get a drink?"

HAH!
That one cracked me up.

Back to school...

Another day with the 8th grade...

Me: Okay, you should all have your notebooks out. Did the bell ring yet?
Flava Flav: You should be on America's Next Top Model.
Me: (thinking I misheard him) What?
Flava Flav: You know that show, America's Next Top Model, you should be on it.
Me: (thinking: okay, this is going to be good) Why?
Flava Flav: Because you have that look, you know.

At this point he demonstrated by shaking his head like he had long hair and then rolling his eyes up toward the ceiling as if posing for a picture. I wish I could demonstrate for you.

Hi-larious.