How to entertain a group of 9th graders...

I cover a Friday afternoon athletic study hall for half of the ninth grade (about 10 kids) who have study hall instead of gym. Friday afternoon is not a good time for a study hall...they don't have a lot of homework since it's the weekend, or they just don't want to do it because it's Friday... There was a big meeting going on across the hall and a class doing presentations next door, so I was not looking forward to making them all shut up and do something.

Last time I entertained them by showing one kid how to walk through a piece of paper. This week I wasn't sure what I was going to do...thank goodness for Flinn Scientific. My order arrived just as I was headed towards study hall. Perfect.
"Who wants to play with toys?"
Newton's cradle kept them entertained for awhile, and the Happy and Sad balls (they look the same but they're made of different materials, so one bounces and one doesn't). But the hit, by far, was the packing peanuts. I opened the box and told a kid to eat one, and he immediately did (it's amazing how they sometimes will just do whatever you tell them to...). The look on his face was great..."It's like a cheese puff without any cheese!"

Then they found out that you can lick and stick them together to build things. That kept them entertained for the rest of the period, and I only had to ask them to be quiet a few times.

Awesome.

Plus now they can't wait to take my class :-P

do they think?

I went into the bathroom after school today during snack time, and there's one of my advisees, with a soft pretzel on a plate on the counter.
me: "what's this?"
advisee: "my snack."
me: picking up plate "This isn't exactly sanitary." then, holding up the clear bag of approximately 50 mustard packets "what's this? what do you think you're doing?"
advisee: "______ didn't want to come to the bathroom by herself."
voice from the bathroom stall: "Hi Miss Book!"
me: "What, she needed moral support? And you needed the whole bag of mustard packets? I think you need to take all of this back to the dining hall."

Unbelievable.

On a more serious note, this was also the advisee whose conversation I overheard yesterday:
cheerleading coach: "If those paw prints are falling off, I can sew them back on for you. Or...can your mom sew? Ask her, and if she can't, then I can do it."
advisee: "I don't know if she can sew. And I can't ask her because she isn't talking to me."

What the h?! That's what you do when you're in middle school, not when you're an adult. Argh. That kind of thing really burns me up.

Midyear Exam fun

My seniors are almost done with their 10 page chemistry midyear exam. I am pretty proud of myself--I think it is a good one. And they are not done 45 minutes early like my 8th graders were. Awesome.

My juniors kill me though. They came in for their physics final and I was collecting their review sheets.
Mr. Arrogance (don't worry, he knows he's arrogant) : "Oh, were we supposed to turn those in for points?"
Me (reading from the top of the review sheet): "It is worth 20 points (as a part of your midyear exam grade) so look at it like the take home portion of your exam."
Mr. A: "Can I turn it into you by the end of the day?"
Me (reading again): "This review sheet is due at the time of your exam next week."

I know I read that to them when I handed it out last week. Wow.

Some of them finished early and wanted to go work on painting the wall in the cafeteria with the artist who designed it...
"hey Ms. Book, can I go work on the memorial?"
"the mural?"
"yeah."

A few minutes later:
Mr. A: Can I go work on the moral?
me: The mural?
Mr. A: Yeah.

Obviously a new vocabulary word they haven't quite mastered yet. The one they were working on last week was "hovercraft"...NOT "hoovercraft".

They're also the ones who'd rather shout out their questions during the test rather than come and talk to me. This usually results in a few class discussions during the course of the test. Whatever...they struggle enough, I like to give them at least a little help. Anyway, one question was the following:
"In your last stay at the space station you left two identical boxes, one filled with feathers and one filled with marbles. If you call the space station and ask them to send you just the box of feathers, what ould they do to identify the contents of the boxes without opening them?"

Ms. Quiet-but-Funny: "So this space station is in space, right?"
Ms. Only A in the Class: "What? How were we supposed to know it was in space!?!?"
Mr. Arrogant: "It's a SPACE station. If it wasn't in space she would have just said this was in a room or something."
Ms. QbF: "So how are they going to send this box back to you?"
Me: "Well...it doesn't really matter..."
Mr. A: "What kind of question is that? It's like asking if the space station is blue!"

Here's another of the questions on the test, and the response from a student who told me that his academic gifts weren't in math or science--they were in writing:
"Your elderly grandmother grew up during a time when seatbelts and headrests were not required in motorized vehicles. Explain to Grandma, based on what you've learned in physics class, why seatbelts and headrests are important."

"........It is just as critical to utilize your headrests. Because an object at rest stays at rest. For example: if we are going 0mph, then all the sudden you step on the gas pedal and we go from 0 to 100 mph in 1 second your neck will snap off. So, where your seatbelt Grandma do you understand. And she will respond yes Grandson."

I just really enjoyed the idea of a neck snapping off...like an appendage...

a whole day with the eighth grade...

I spent the entire day with the 8th grade today because of midyear exams. I have yet to grade theirs, but if the past two terms are any indication, I can expect that the girls' scores will average a full 10%+ above the boys. Three of the guys finished off last term by the skin of their teeth...69.5%, 69.9%, and 70.0% (below 70 is failing...we don't give D's. I round up.) If anyone can explain this strange gender phenomenon to me, please do. I am chalking it up to the fact that they are 8th grade boys and just don't want to do homework or study.

The eighth grade rooms smelled like something had died in the wall. The boys claimed that someone had just failed to flush the toilet on Friday. Whatever it was, it was bad. Let the fun begin.

"Your skirt is made of curtains, or a blanket, did you make it?"
"No."
"No, it looks like a rug...like a welcome mat, except you took the welcome off..."
Gee, thanks...

"Okay, let's review before your exam...what's an atom made of?"
"Protons!"
"Electrons!"
"Neutrons!"
"the nucleus!" (I've basically given up on making them raise their hands...)
"Okay, what's in the nucleus?"
"Protons! Neutrons!"
"And what are their charges?"
"protons are positive!"
"neutrons are negative!"
"no they aren't! electrons are negative, neutrons don't have a charge!"
"yeah, they're neutral!"
Boy with Girl's Name: "That's stupid, I think it makes more sense for the neutrons to be negative."
FS: "Nah, man! Who do you think you is, Dmitri Mendeleev?"
[link included for those of you whose science is a little rusty]

Probably not as funny to you as it was to me...but it cracked me up.

So there you are, and maybe you learned some science too...:)

on clearing up health-related misconceptions

Okay, so I've been debating on whether or not I should really share this story. But I'm going to. It's one of those that's better in person, but mostly because I enjoy sharing in people's reactions. With that said, buckle your seatbelts. WARNING: FOLLOWING CONTENT IS NOT G RATED.

We've been talking about radioactivity in 8th grade science, so the topic of cancer came up and we talked about how radiation can both cause cancer and be used to treat it. I'm teaching 13 year old boys, so of course one of them tells another one that he is going to get breast cancer. The ensuing conversation:

someone: "Men can't get breast cancer!"
me: "Oh yes, men CAN get breast cancer."
[Note: at this point they apparently also have the misconception that if you hit someone in the chest, then they will get breast cancer.]
FS: "So say you punch a girl in the chest. .....okay, Miss Book, we're 13 years old, we need to know this..."
I nod, not sure where this is going...
FS: "And then you suck on it."
Pause to allow my eyes to return to normal size...o_O
FS: "What happens?"
me: "um...welllll.....it's not contagious...."
FS: "Oh, okay."

Will wonders never cease?

Father Zach says I missed a perfect opportunity to tell him that he would get mouth, tongue, lip and tooth cancer.

SaG violations

So my sister and I have unofficially nominated ourselves as members of the SaG police (spelling and grammar). Today I'd like to share with you a couple of recent SaG violations...


I pass this one on the way to school each day. It is particularly unfortunate since they probably ordered a bunch of these. The saddest part is that I'm pretty sure spell check would catch this one.


Another of my favorites I saw in the classified ads a few weeks ago. It was an ad for an apartment in a nearby neighborhood, and actually it sounded pretty good. A big, older home with hardwood floors, you know, one of those "century old tutor" homes. Apparently the apartment comes with an old guy who can help you with your homework...

And this one isn't really a SaG violation, but I am of the opinion that if you ever see a sign that uses the word "butt" in a semi-serious context, you must take a picture. So I did. Merry Christmas.


















that's all for today....

mail, meals and misunderstandings...

So it's been awhile. Two glorious weeks of break and two major holidays later it's back to school. I actually missed the kiddos...and it really helps me to have a schedule to follow...so I really don't mind it at all.

Lots of science supplies came in the mail today! Woohoo! (and by lots I mean $1000 worth...three boxes) Unfortunately I discovered them in the office as I was leaving, so I didn't get to open the boxes. Tomorrow morning is going to be like Christmas! I was angry that the PO closed for Gerald Ford's funeral (since all of the mailmen were going to the funeral? I don't really understand that one) because I sort of needed one of the chemicals for class today. But oh well. The smell of death can wait for tomorrow (butyric acid...we are doing a unit on smell chemistry.)

Kids love juice. They all drink like three cartons of it per meal. (the little ones, like milk, only sometimes smaller...) But you know how they are sometimes hard to open? Like you can get them halfway there, but then the carton gets stuck? (this is hard to describe, but work with me) Well that happened to FS yesterday when he was in a hurry to drink it and get to worship, after a feeble attempt he proclaimed "this one's broken!" and tossed it into the trash before I could stop him.

My physics kids are building hovercrafts. No, not big ones, little ones, but maybe we'll build a big one sometime... I was listening in on their planning time today:
"this site says we need a balloon, an old cd, hot glue, a bottle top......what's an adult helper? ...oh...nevermind..."