adventures in Christmas shopping

I saw something amazing today. I was shopping in the Jewish part of town, so maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did, but I witnessed not one, but TWO minivans bedecked with giant silver menorahs! As in attached to the luggage rack. I guess if you can't strap a wreath to the front of your vehicle you get a menorah for the roof. And I guess you're SOL if you don't have a vehicle with a luggage rack. Better think about that next time you purchase a vehicle. It could be the deciding factor.

The best part is that Lisa saw one attempt to enter the parking garage...and fail miserably. Sad face. That's sort of like the day Melissa and I saw a semi that tried to go under an overpass...and failed...by at least six inches if not a foot. How do you not know how tall your cab is???

Oh, I forgot I had another school quote for you. This one I overheard as we were all returning to the school from morning worship.
>>> "Gangsters don't say please."
Whaaaaaaaat?!!?
Well. This explains some things.

Like maybe it explains lunch.
me: Baby Talk Girl, you may NOT eat that with your hands, please get a fork.
BTG, you may NOT lick your hands like that, please get a napkin.
BTG: Why not?
me: It's disgusting. Please get a napkin and use your fork.
BTG: I like Miss Book, she tells me what I can and can't do.

Or maybe not, but that is an actual conversation that I have on a regular basis.

For some reason I am loving Christmas shopping this year. I think part of it is that I love buying things for people. The other part is that I'm not in a rush, and I get to go out during the day when it's not busy. I hate crowds. Plus the weather is nice :)

on books, parents, and the proper use of words

I just realized that it's been awhile. I've been saving up some good ones though...so enjoy these recent student-related incidents...

Scenario 1-- Emily is cleaning up from dinner, rewrapping the American cheese.
School Mascot Student: is that prosthetic cheese?
Emily: do you know what that word means?
SMS: I thought I did...
Emily: what does it mean?
SMS: something that's fake
Emily: right
SMS: so it's like fake cheese

Scenario 2-- our girls basketball team is playing the local school for adjudicated youth. I am sitting in the second row, behind parents/teachers from the opposing school. Favorite Student approaches my seat and sits next to me.
FS (loudly...he only has one volume): Hey Ms Book! Isn't this the school with all the convicts?
I try desperately to shush him, motioning at the adults in front of us and trying to explain who they are.
FS (obviously confused by my frantic motions and whispering): What? They're convicts too?

And a couple of my favorites from a student who recently asked me to proofread a paper:
"With all of the exciting rituals happening around Christmas time, you can't help but feel voluptuous..."
ummm...I don't think that's the word he was looking for...

"Santa Claus is known around the world as the barer of gifts."
I'd really like to know what gifts Santa is baring...


In other news, I am SUPER excited about the new bookstore they built a mere mile from my current residence!! It's basically a dream come true...I have only been there once for about 10 minutes, but I plan to spend some more time there next week when I'm off. PLUS, it's right next to the new liquor store. Can life get better? I submit that it cannot! ;)

Number one thing I hate about teaching: parents who think their kid can do no wrong. Praise Jesus that I did not have to deal with Perfect Child's parents this week. Holy. Cow. Hearing about the drama afterwards was enough. Suffice it to say that the incident resulted in a two hour meeting with the head of school even though it shouldn't have been an issue. Wow.

twang twang

oh my abs hurt. melissa and i have been making each other and ourselves laugh for at least an hour. here's the latest...over IM no less (since we live so far from each other...)

M (on craig's list): can i get the free kimball organ too?
A: whaaaaaat
A: who's donating organs?
M: weirdo
A: only if i can play the drums with you
A: we can start a band
M: sure
M: shoot!
M: lol
A: lisa can play the harmonica
A: or the jew's harp
A: her choice
M: lol
M: i don't even know what a jew's harp is
M: whoa whoa whoa
M: i do know what it is
A: twang twang
M: i thought it was a JUICE harp
M: not joking
M: good grief

there really is a band made up of an organ and a drum. i believe there is some strange person in california who might acutally listen to them. melissa and i looked them up on purevolume and melissa concluded that she would rather hear skeletons copulating on a tin roof.

we have also decided to be complete nerds and join the local chapters of the following two organizations...
http://www.cacophony.org
and
http://www.geocaching.com

we are excited.
:)