the 8th grade girls entertain yet again...

The other day we were talking about how atoms are the building blocks of matter, and we were comparing them to bricks...

me: What do we use bricks to make?
DP girl: Crack!

Ignoring her, I asked the question again...
DP girl: I live in the projects; we don't have bricks...

Oh geez :-p


Friday was a special day considering that I somehow managed to sleep through my alarm...a LOT...as in I woke up 6 minutes AFTER I was supposed to have been teaching first period. That is not a good way to start your day. I managed to get to class within 10 minutes after throwing on some clothes and pulling back my hair. My appearance didn't pass muster in the 8th grade girls' class however...

"Oh my gosh, Miss Book, you look so...PLAIN!"
"Your hair's in a ponytail!"
"Did you even put any makeup on?"
"You don't even have any earrings!"
"AND you're wearing Mr. McNutt shoes!" (he's the art teacher)
"Miss Book, here, please [digs in her purse], put these on!! [hands me gold hoop earrings]"
"Take your hair down...yeah, that looks much better."

I personally thought it was hilarious, especially considering that I pretty much didn't blow dry my hair OR wear makeup all summer when I taught them for five weeks :-P

Boys and babies

So the other day I only had six out of 11 eighth grade girls in class and no boys because of an incident that had occurred during evening study the night before that involved a bunch of them in the computer lab and a flying bottle of lotion...and that's really all of the story that I know. Anyway, the girls who were still in class were working on something at their desks while I was semi-distracted by something at mine.

Dramatic Poop Girl: I hate being on my period! I wish I was a boy! Miss Book, why don't boys have periods?
Me (barely looking up): Boys can't have babies.
Dramatic Poop Girl: Well I can't have a baby either! [which made me actually look at her] My mother would kill me!

Do you like Spanish?

One of the 8th grade boys was complaining this morning that he didn't want to take Spanish (does he realize that he doesn't have to take it until 10th grade? I don't know...)

Eternal 8th Grader: You don't deserve to live if you don't like Spanish!


HA.
:)

new words...

"Miss Book, isn't 'seentchu' a word?"

"Seentchu?"

"You know, like instead of saying 'I saw you yesterday' you say 'I seentchu?' "

Baffled

How do I do laundry and end up with five white athletic socks, none of which match any of the others?????

Inappropriateness

Oh man, the 8th grade girls...defy all reason...today was an especially special day since Horse Tranquilizer Girl ate three, yes, THREE, ice cream sandwiches for breakfast. I know this because I was there as she announced that she was finishing the third one... Science class with her was like trying to keep one of those super bouncy balls under control in a small concrete room. I am honestly not sure how much learning happened...

More about her in a minute. Right now I'm going to tell you about Dramatic Poop Girl. Those two adjectives are not quite related, but both describe her and will help you remember her. She is actually quite bright and participatory in class; it's just that sometimes she can be a little much... Like the day she asked to go see the counselor/"nurse", Ms. Debbie.
(clutching her abdomen) "Miss Book, can I go see Ms. Debbie? I can't live anymore!"

Hence the drama.

The best, though, was yesterday.
Dramatic Poop Girl: Miss Book, what color is your poop?
As I'm trying to decide which fantastic color/pattern to reply with (purple with polka dots was first in line), another student decided to join the conversation,

"Yeah, I always be thinkin' that white people's poop must be like...orange...or clear..."

Well once I realized that they actually wanted to know, I skipped the lies and assured them that my poop looked just like theirs. I like to consider this one of those "teachable moments" you hear all about in education classes... :)



And, as promised, HT Girl makes an appearance...the following text messages were exchanged between myself and Ms. Brett as she was giving the girls a history test, and I was getting onto the cross country bus, having just run into HT Girl.

me: "Things you don't want to hear HT Girl say: 'Look Miss Book! I got a hole in my cooch!'"

Ms. B: "Hahahaha! Things you don't want to have to say to DP Girl: do not take your pants off in this classroom!"

Speaking of which, I know the words "HT Girl! Clothe yourself!" have left my lips at least once this week during class...

Quote of the year

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this quote is going to stick in the collective consciousness of the school for quite awhile... which is probably good because maybe some of them will take it to heart.

"If you eat a Hot Pocket, you are going to ACT like a Hot Pocket!"

-Mr. B., said with great passion and conviction to a lunchroom full of rowdy teenagers

Beef burritos and illegal immigrants...

Today I asked "I Didn't Kiss Her!" Boy for his homework. His response?
"Can I give you an 89 cent double cheese beef burrito instead?"

HAH.

Oh, and everyone's favorite, FS, was in my room the other day trying to push up his shirt sleeves and having difficulty since he had managed to get them pushed up to his bicep without unbuttoning them...
"Miss Book! Help me! Unbutton this, my arm is all constracted."
me (helping him): "Constracted?"
FS: "Contracted. I'm having a contraction... Oh wait! That's for babies..."


A couple of weeks ago some of us went out to this international festival to see some of the kids perform their African dance and drumming. There were a lot of other performers, so we sat with the kids and watched some traditional dances from other countries, including some Indian dancers. I was sitting next to the history/social studies teacher and, to their credit, the kids were trying to make a connection to what they were learning in her class... "Miss Brett! Are they illegal immigrants???"


Ms Brett's class is also apparently primetime for good quotes from 8th graders.
"I Didn't Kiss Her!" Boy: That's racist!
Lifelong 8th grader: Yeah, why is paper white?! And why are there whiteboards and not blackboards?! Oh wait...there are...

8th grade girl: Is that the bungee clause thingy?
Ms Brett: You mean the elastic clause?

:)